Our little guy turned 5 months a couple of days ago and my heart is conflicted. Part feels like time needs to slow down, another part feels proud when he reaches another milestone, and another feels just plain out blessed. You never really understand when others used to tell you, “you’ll understand when you’re a mom or dad” until you actually become a parent. My hubby and I have been all about the feelings lately with our little guy. He’s growing up and growing fast, he’s been changing right before our eyes and it makes us feel all sorts of way. We keep wanting him to stay little forever, so that forever he can look into our eyes the way he does with that twinkle of all the love for us. A look that just completely consumes us with a good overwhelming kind of love. We felt it was necessary to write these feelings so that forever we could remember them even though I doubt we will ever forget… as a mother and as a father we’ll remember this….
As a mother I will always remember all the hard sleepless nights, but I will also remember that during those nights, Noah looks up at me, his mom to be consoled, to be given love and affection. I will remember how sometimes, sleep just wasn’t on his mind but rather a smile to lighten up our dark nights. I will remember all the sleepless nights where I fought not only to close my eyes to sleep but also to keep them open to just be able to stare at him a little longer before we both fell asleep. I will remember always every little inch of him. Everyday that passes all I pray for is for guidance. Guidance to be the best mom I could be for our little boy. To have patience, to be a good example, to keep him safe, to be his friend but also his Mother above all. I pray to always be able and capable of always being there for him. As a mother I hope that when I fail and make mistakes, I hope to learn from those mistakes to be a better me and a better mom to Noah. But through it all I hope to always lean on my faith and his grace during this whole journey of motherhood and parenthood along with my husband.
As for my husband… this is what he’d like to share…
“Our baby boy Noah turned 5 months old. It reminded me about a month back Jen brought home a onesie that seemed rather big. I told her “no way he fits in that in 6 months”, she said “he almost fits in it now”. I held it up next to my torso and I couldn’t believe it. I remember getting emotional just thinking about how big Noah is quickly becoming. I kept asking myself, “is he really that big”. Our baby boy is growing up so quickly. I think that night it hit the both of us, that Noah is growing up and time is way past us. I wish time would slow down and he wouldn’t grow so fast! Might be selfish, but I want to keep him this way a little longer.
You really don’t know what it is to be a parent until you are one. I am quickly starting to find out the meaning of that saying. The love that grows in you for your child is something beyond this world. I never thought I can love something or someone so much. I never thought I would care so much about someone growing up and changing. These feelings extend much deeper, not even words can describe it. The one thing I can say is not to take these moments for granted. This is a unique experience and as a new parent, try to soak as much of it in because it’ll flash right before your eyes.” – Xavier
As for our little Noah, know that you are sooo very loved. You have changed our lives in ways we never knew. Your dad and I thought we knew what deep unconditional love was, but the truth is, we didn’t until you came into our lives. We promise to always be there for you and love you with all our might our sweet babe. We’re so grateful and feel so blessed God chose us to be your parents, there is no greater privilege. We hope to be the best of us with the guidance of the one up above for you baby boy.
With all our love,
Your mom and dad.
One thought on “Parenthood Feelings”
Jen and X.. I know being a first time parent can sometimes be overwhelming., but you guys have proven to be amazing parents. Noah is blessed to have you guys in his life and remember he is the Grace that God has given you.. love you guys!! Tia Mary