Blessed

Noah Xavier turns ONE

Although a little late, our little boy turned one this past 19th of April. This year has been a year full of all sorts of emotions, adventures, and just plain out blessings. If anyone tells you that their first year with their baby is smooth, I may question that. There has been challenges along the way, but those challenges have taught us so much about ourselves, about each other and just about life. Even though there’s been moments of struggle, fear, exhaustion and much more, this year was one that we will never forget or regret. Our sweet boy has taught us more this year than we thought we could ever teach him. To describe the love we feel and have for him, is indescribable. From all his sweet laughs, smiles and coo’s here and there, we absolutely love each inch of him. As a mom, I can honestly say time is a thief. This year has flown by and although life gets busy, this past year I had to stop and make sure I was taking in each moment I spend with Noah. I think as a parent, you never want to miss a thing… and this is sure our case. For both Xavier and I, making sure to be there for those ‘firsts’ has been a top priority. And even though, unrealistic, we are so grateful and blessed that he’s surrounded by such amazing people who get to share those moments with us. I wish I could keep him a tiny baby just a little longer, to keep that sweet baby smell on him, to breastfeed him a little longer, to just plain out keep him in my arms and not have him running away… He’s ONE and my heart has all sorts of feels!

Oh my sweet sweet boy Noah,

You are the sweetest boy with the most contagious smile ever, there is not one person who does not look at you and just wants to smile along with you. You took forever to finally sleep through the night, 8 months exactly… sigh.. But now you got it down! Mama loves watching you sleep so soundly as your sweet face just melts this mamas heart…

You are active and crawling techniques have never been so fast! Mama and papa love watching you on the go… you keep us busy and on our toes! We agreed that your first word was “Ese” in spanish.. aka “that one” in english! You go around pointing your chunky little finger as you say “Ese, ese” guiding us to what you want to get your hands on next! haha you can thank your dad on that one, as he loves letting you touch and explore everything!

You’re adventurous but cautious all at once, you analyze your every move and decide whether your going to cause any bumps before you make a move…You can walk but refuse to let go of our hands while doing so..(enter cautious side here)… But we know that the time will come when you let go of your little hands from ours and take off on your own.. so for now we will enjoy holding your soft little hand and walk you along the way..

You’re a BIG boy measuring in at 31 inches tall and weighing in at 26 pounds 12.5 ounces to be exact at your one year check up! You’re wearing 18-24 month clothes and shorts never looked so cute on someone.. your curly hair is EVERYTHING and gets attention from the ladies haha. You love bananas and sweet potato and you think sippy cups are chewing toys still.. don’t worry you’ll get that down eventually. You officially have two bottom teeth and your top two teeth are finally making an appearance and you’re handling it like a champ!

Sweet baby boy, keep smiling and showing us those two teeth and brightening up our lives! You are so strong, brave, sweet and such a happy soul.. Mama and Papa pray you will continue to be so! We pray you’re a man of GOD, a man who loves him unconditionally and chooses to follow all his ways… He has given us the greatest gift. YOU. You are our rainbow baby, a bright light to us, our lives, and to those who you surround. Know you are loved by us and soo soo many others.

We thought we knew what love was before you, but YOU have taught your dad and I the true meaning of the greatest most selfless and unconditional love. We love you with all our heart son. Know that mama and papa will always be there for you no matter what, know that we aren’t perfect and we may fail along the way, but we promise to come back stronger and guided by our faith to guide you the best we can. We know God will watch over you in those times where we may fall short and for always.

Noah, your dad and I love you dearly.. You have stolen our hearts.

We love you to the moon and back times infinity and FOREVER!

-Mama and Papa ❤

Here’s some pictures of Noahs celebration at Disney and a failed smash cake attempt with family! lol

*And then there was magic here *

We also celebrated grandpas birthday with these amazing people! =)

“So mom when can we come back to the land of mickey and where dreams come true?”

Love you baby boy, keep flourishing and your gang will be there next to you enjoying every bit of it!

Noah’s 1/2 Birthday & Family Photos

carcache-32 Our sweet Boy has reached the 6 month mark you guys! That means 1/2 birthday! This means that after this he will almost be a teenage baby! This boy has kept us on our toes. He is the most sweetest baby and always has a smile on his face… literally melts our hearts. He’s at a point where so many changes are taking place and his little personality is starting to make an appearance. I anticipate a strong-willed little guy but with the kindest heart in our future. He loves his momma and daddy and has started to reach out his little arms for us to pick him up. He loves his skip and hop play table and loves putting all toys and mostly everything in his mouth! lol Maybe teething? But at the moment no teeth in site! He rolls over like a pro but can’t take the heat lol aka, he gets frustrated and lazy when it comes to “trying” to go on all fours to explore the crawling position. We’ll let him lead the way on that one and see when this big little fella wants to start making us chase him around. Oh and Food… well not his favorite just yet! Lets just say there’s been a whole lot of gagging in the works haha! But he does seem to like avocados like his mama. He’s at 95%tile for both weight and height so no concern there just yet. And although he’s an amazing baby and can pretty much adjust anywhere (beside his car seat, lol) he’s also not a great sleeper. Lets just say this is the area that has ‘kept us on our toes’ or what I should really say, ‘barely’ on our toes from how sleep deprived we are. All I know is, he’s lucky he is cute… we will take all the advice we can get on that one! Any tips to get him to sleep better?? help a mama and dad out. He also loves Mickey mouse and his eyes open wide when that little mouse is in sight! Bath time is his favorite followed by a game of papa chases mom and Noah around the house. I know someday these will be my favorite memories, maybe minus the sleep deprivation..

But in all seriousness, we have learned so much from him and although real life has been an adjustment. He really has challenged us.. he has made us aware of how little sleep an individual can run on, while at the same time, teaching us how much someone can also love. Because people, THIS IS REAL LOVE. It’s not always hearts and rainbows because I don’t care how perfect a picture can seem, real life can be hard with a baby. And although we know this is our first, and this is all new to us, were trying our hardest. Challenges have presented themselves, but we have learned to lean on patience and show each other grace. We’re not a perfect family but were trying to live it out to the best of our ability. Even though, there are days we may fail, this is OUR family and to us its OUR perfect little family. Noah these past 6 months has brought and taught us the real meaning of unconditional love, and I have never felt more blessed or grateful to God for trusting us to be his parents. In the midst of all the struggles we may face, while adjusting to this little guy, I hope to always focus on enjoying the process of HIM, because he’s only little once and these will be memories that last a lifetime for us as parents. It’s easy to be overwhelmed when you feel like so much is going on. But, all those feelings placed to the side don’t compare or surpass the feeling I have in my heart, body and soul for this precious boy. He’s taught us more about life and its meaning these past 6 months then we ever thought or thought we knew before. He’s our greatest adventure, the most rewarding and the biggest blessing.

And even though, I may talk about struggles and adjustment, I just want to keep these emotions and feelings as raw as possible for our memories and for my readers and fellow parents out there. Because although, our lives may seem perfect in all these tiny IG stories and pictures or Facebook that everyone posts’ or even on my blog and my pages, LIFE IS REAL. Life isn’t perfect for anyone and sharing with you all that we’ve encountered struggles in adjusting and our sleep deprivation, it’s all real and we know were not alone. And in the midst of it all, no matter how big or small are struggles are, our life has been fulfilled with a greater purpose and were so incredibly blessed to be where we are as parents, as husband and wife and as a family of three in our journey right now. We will always remember these days….

Our friend and photographer Beca @ Becacphotography who pretty much has documented all our big milestones with her camera, captured these amazing photographs for us as a family and our little Noah at 6 months! Life may not be perfect always, but these Photographs are PERFECT! We may not have it together all the time, but together is my favorite place to be with these boys, and with all these good feelings! I hope that our love can be seen through these photos in our smiles and faces! Because there’s sooo much of it surrounding us and were so incredibly blessed. Looking back at these one day will be so amazing.

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Love you NOAH ❤

Parenthood Feelings

Our little guy turned 5 months a couple of days ago and my heart is conflicted. Part feels like time needs to slow down, another part feels proud when he reaches another milestone, and another feels just plain out blessed. You never really understand when others used to tell you, “you’ll understand when you’re a mom or dad” until you actually become a parent. My hubby and I have been all about the feelings lately with our little guy. He’s growing up and growing fast, he’s been changing right before our eyes and it makes us feel all sorts of way. We keep wanting him to stay little forever, so that forever he can look into our eyes the way he does with that twinkle of all the love for us. A look that just completely consumes us with a good overwhelming kind of love. We felt it was necessary to write these feelings so that forever we could remember them even though I doubt we will ever forget… as a mother and as a father we’ll remember this….

As a mother I will always remember all the hard sleepless nights, but I will also remember that during those nights, Noah looks up at me, his mom to be consoled, to be given love and affection. I will remember how sometimes, sleep just wasn’t on his mind but rather a smile to lighten up our dark nights. I will remember all the sleepless nights where I fought not only to close my eyes to sleep but also to keep them open to just be able to stare at him a little longer before we both fell asleep. I will remember always every little inch of him. Everyday that passes all I pray for is for guidance. Guidance to be the best mom I could be for our little boy. To have patience, to be a good example, to keep him safe, to be his friend but also his Mother above all. I pray to always be able and capable of always being there for him. As a mother I hope that when I fail and make mistakes, I hope to learn from those mistakes to be a better me and a better mom to Noah. But through it all I hope to always lean on my faith and his grace during this whole journey of motherhood and parenthood along with my husband.

As for my husband… this is what he’d like to share…

“Our baby boy Noah turned 5 months old. It reminded me about a month back Jen brought home a onesie that seemed rather big. I told her “no way he fits in that in 6 months”, she said “he almost fits in it now”. I held it up next to my torso and I couldn’t believe it. I remember getting emotional just thinking about how big Noah is quickly becoming. I kept asking myself, “is he really that big”. Our baby boy is growing up so quickly. I think that night it hit the both of us, that Noah is growing up and time is way past us. I wish time would slow down and he wouldn’t grow so fast! Might be selfish, but I want to keep him this way a little longer.

You really don’t know what it is to be a parent until you are one. I am quickly starting to find out the meaning of that saying. The love that grows in you for your child is something beyond this world. I never thought I can love something or someone so much. I never thought I would care so much about someone growing up and changing. These feelings extend much deeper, not even words can describe it. The one thing I can say is not to take these moments for granted. This is a unique experience and as a new parent, try to soak as much of it in because it’ll flash right before your eyes.” – Xavier

As for our little Noah, know that you are sooo very loved. You have changed our lives in ways we never knew. Your dad and I thought we knew what deep unconditional love was, but the truth is, we didn’t until you came into our lives. We promise to always be there for you and love you with all our might our sweet babe. We’re so grateful and feel so blessed God chose us to be your parents, there is no greater privilege. We hope to be the best of us with the guidance of the one up above for you baby boy.

With all our love,

Your mom and dad.

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Maternity shoot flashback & feelings

As I sit here holding our sweet baby boy in my arms today, I can only think of those days I was just feeling him move around in my belly. I would sit and stare at my growing belly just watching him move around, kicking stretching and hiccup-ing all inside of me. I was so full of excitement thinking he’d soon be in arms. But as I sat and stared and waited I’d just wonder how he would look, whose nose, eyes and how much hair he’d have. It was such a conflicting feeling to think I wouldn’t feel his little movements inside of me anymore but yet how much I would love just holding him in my arms staring him down for hours. Well he is here…. and I’m staring down at him thinking time is going fast. Our little man is almost 3 months old, even though he looks like he’s almost 5 months old! (He was a big boy since birth! Lol) now I sit and look through these photographs and just smile. I smile because pregnancy for me was oh so hard in the beginning and not till a little over half way did i start feeling better.. but pregnancy is beautiful. Even though sometimes I was so uncomfortable and my body was going through so many changes it scared me, pregnancy is beautiful. It’s a beautiful miracle of life that God has granted us with. A privilege to hold life and care for it with all of Gods grace and an everlasting love. Pregnancy is such a wonderful gift. I also smile at these photographs because they’re also a reminder of when it was just my sweet husband and I. When all of our love turned into waiting for our little boy. I also smile because it sends me back to the times it was just Xavier and I and all our dreams and the stories owe share together before our little guy came to this world. They’re the sweetest memories and just makes me feel all sorts of butterflies because I love this man so much. Our story is beautiful… it has never been perfect but our story is beautiful and full of love. These photographs are just a small vision into that love my husband and I share.. and all the love we’re going to be giving our baby boy. Now we’ll look at these and have flashbacks of all those feelings leading up to his arrival… a sweet memory in deed.

Thank you BecaCompanioni at BecaCphotography for capturing all of this love in these beautiful photographs. ❤

I’d do any adventure with you my love… this is just the beginning… Noah is another chapter in our story.. love you both with all my heart.

❤ Jen

Mothers Day & A Rainbow Baby

To those who aren’t familiar with the term “rainbow baby” this posts title may seem just like an ordinary Mother’s Day post. Truth is, it’s an extra special post… This post will probably be one of the closest to my heart… I’m sharing something so personal, so difficult but now so rewarding and special all at once. For any other mother out there who knows the term “rainbow baby” you may be able to relate. This year, I will be ‘celebrating‘ my first Mother’s Day, and truth is, I couldn’t feel more blessed to be able to say that. This year, I became a mother to an earthly little angel, Noah Xavier Carcache… he arrived on April 19, 2017 at 2:17pm via c-section weighing in at a healthy 10lbs and 1oz and 22 inches long! He came to us as a healthy and perfect little boy! My heart has never felt so full of love, so complete and so overwhelmed by the grace God has shown me and my husband. Truth is this baby boy has come to us after much prayer.

On this Mother’s Day, I wanted to introduce you to our “rainbow baby” a rainbow after the storm… You see what makes this year so special for me and for my family, is that last year during this special day, we thought we’d be sharing beautiful and happy filled news to our family… except ,we were mourning. We were mourning the loss of what we thought would be our first baby… This time last year we were preparing to tell our family, that I too would be celebrating ‘mothers day,’ except God had different plans for us.. and even though in the beginning I couldn’t understand the “why” I had to trust that only he knew the plans he had for me and the plans he had for me as a mom.. that week, we had a miscarriage. The loss was a devastating one… and one that will forever be a part of me, who I am… and a reminder of how gracious God has been in allowing me to be able to now hold this beautiful baby boy in my arms this year.

Our sweet baby boy has been a constant reminder of Gods grace and how grateful, blessed and loved my husband and I are to have him here with us. My husband and I are taking him all in, and opening our arms and heart fully for this little boy. He has changed our lives in so many ways, more than he will ever know and in more good ways than not. Truth is, our lives changed drastically a year ago that moment when we got the news at the doctor’s office, with the words, “I’m sorry but I believe you are experiencing the beginning of a miscarriage” followed by the moment we thought we would first see our first baby via ultrasound. What we really did see was emptiness, and experience the feeling of an empty heart… that’s why this year is so special. Our hearts are as full as they have ever been, our hands are as full as they could be for now, fully full with a healthy baby boy that we could now physically hold, kiss, hug and stare at for hours at a time without blinking an eye and be full of so much love, that I don’t know what to do with myself sometimes.

This Mother’s Day all I need is to hold my baby boy in my arms, because he is my greatest gift. I share this not because I need someone to feel bad for our story… but rather because it’s a story of redemption… a story that so many other women and family’s experience. Today I am beyond grateful, and today I remember my little angel in heaven whose been watching over us. A little angel who has made us realize to be a little more grateful this year because we now have a little blessing to hold. I pray and empathize today with any woman out there whose experienced a miscarriage, a loss or even infertility. It’s a rough road, but one that should push us to lean on to faith a little more, because your little miracle will soon come too. Today, I am the happiest mama out there, today I count my blessings. He’s our rainbow after the storm, but a storm in which we learned so much about us as a couple, as a woman, as a wife and mother. Today I will hold my little Noah, a little closer, kiss and hug him a little more and thank God for every inch of this little boy.

A Sweet Baby Gender Reveal

batch_img_9702 This past weekend, we had the honor or sharing with our close friends and family one very exciting moment for Xavier and I.. the gender of our sweet babe! We knew from the get go that we wanted to be surprised along with everyone and that we would try to do it in a creative manner, or at least in an exciting way! Along the way, some of my close girlfriends and mom decided they wanted in on the plan and wanted to help us out with the reveal! Which by the way, I appreciated with all my heart being that this mama has had some difficult days with all the nausea and yes…trips to the bathroom..sigh. But with that on the side, brain storming took off and we ended up with the sweetest gender reveal night! Our simple sweet theme was bow ties or bows and while its one we’ve seen before, it was ours and it was perfect! Some great DIY’s also came into play by yours truly, since we all know that I’m up for a good arts and craft! The time and effort that my mom and friends took out of their schedules was just a huge meaning of love and a reminder of how much this sweet baby is already loved and cared for! After a couple of snacks and a couple guesses from our guests, it was reveal time. We found a way to make the reveal explosive and made it POP! We found the cutest reveal balloon on etsy, over at Baby Glimpses. My mom was the only one who knew the gender (because she begged! Lol) so she filled the balloon with the adequate color and when everyone was gathered around it was time! It was time to reveal what we had been patiently waiting for…a sweet baby girl or a handsome little boy! And just to make the occasion even more fun… that night we had a power outage! Yes! for most of the reveal we had no power! Lets just say, thank goodness for technology and phones with flashlights.. lol it was definitely a reveal to remember!

To start our bow ties and bows theme, this mama had some fun on her chalkboard’s and got to get in on some of the exciting plan!

My little sister also wanted in, and this cute little drawing was hung up near our precious little baby’s ultrasound baby selfies! We have that board in our home and we get to walk by everyday and stare at our little blessing!

Our closest friends and family also were wearing their baby guesses with these cute DIY bow ties and bows made by this mama. They were the cutest little things and fun to watch what our guest’s guesses were..

batch_img_9690 batch_img_9717 Now to talk about this sweet dessert table! IT WAS BEAUTIFUL! I was so in love with the whole set up! My friend brought all these yummy treats and cake to us from a baker friend, Jaclyn Otero. Everything was delicious and everything was gorgeous. batch_img_9713